Just things and stuff.
Roxan Flores. Sixteen years old. I love to be inspired! I love being sarcastic. I like things that can easily make me smile. I hate disappointing people. Weird things amuse me.
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but I looked at myself in the mirror.. And broke down and cried.. Was I really that horrible for you to just stop loving me out of nowhere? As I stood there, looking at my horrid self crying.. I told myself, “he doesn’t love you anymore, roxan.”
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just imagine a bridge that is burning. You are one side of the bridge while the person you grew to fall deeply in love with is on the other side of that burning bridge. As that bridge that connected you and that person diminishes, you can’t help but think of how that growing connection that you both built would simply be gone. Disconnecting everything.. You stand there thinking how the hell that bridge caught on fire. Was there something you could have done to prevent the fire? You look back.. Yes there was something you could’ve done to prevent that bridge from burning, but at the moment you never realized that it would eventually burn up into ashes.
I don’t know how to feel anymore. Our bridge has burned, but the memories and feelings are still there. No matter how much I convince myself that I hate your guts so much, I still find myself thinking about you. Even when I tried my best to get you back again and you simply already gave up on the relationship we both built, I still found myself thinking about you. Even when you constantly yelled at me during those heated arguments, I still found myself thinking about you. I feel like we put so much time and effort building our bridge only for you to burn it up in the end. You make me feel like everything that happened was my fault. Is it really? Was it really my fault that I had intense feelings for you and cared for you unconditionally? You make me feel like there is something wrong with me as if I’m most the flawed person on earth. The two years and nine months spent with you was honestly the best time of my life. How can I ever deny that? But I just wish I didn’t have to do the things I did to push you away. I pushed you away without myself even knowing it. You told me how much I meant to you.. How much you loved me.. How much you cared for me… How much you missed me.. How much I made you happy.. Was that all a lie then? You promised we’d always be together.. Was that a lie also? I keep feeling this emotional pain in my heart.. It hurts so much to the point where it physically hurts also. I don’t know what to else say.. How can I simply just disregard those two years and nine months with you? It seems like you’ve already disregarded it.. And I’m jealous. I want to feel dispassionate about it.. But I’m still emotionally attached even when I know it’s poisoning me inside. I know time can heal my wounds… That’s all it takes.. But I feel like time goes by so slowly without you..if I had the chance to go back in time, I would do my best to prevent our downfall. I want to return to normalcy. I want the sense of happiness back in my life. I know that god has something better planned for me. I know that god won’t let me suffer through something I cannot handle. I can overcome this emotional pain. I know I can. I just need to trust in the lord with all my heart that he can make things better for me maybe not right now, but maybe in the near future.. God is really testing my patience. -
Photo reblogged from Simple Skills
We need to hear more stories like this in the news:
Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.
But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.
He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.
“He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, ‘Here you go,’” Diaz says.
As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, “Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you’re going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm.”
The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, “like what’s going on here?” Diaz says. “He asked me, ‘Why are you doing this?’”
Diaz replied: “If you’re willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me … hey, you’re more than welcome.
“You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help,” Diaz says.
Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.
“The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi,” Diaz says. “The kid was like, ‘You know everybody here. Do you own this place?’”
“No, I just eat here a lot,” Diaz says he told the teen. “He says, ‘But you’re even nice to the dishwasher.’”
Diaz replied, “Well, haven’t you been taught you should be nice to everybody?”
“Yea, but I didn’t think people actually behaved that way,” the teen said.
Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. “He just had almost a sad face,” Diaz says.
The teen couldn’t answer Diaz — or he didn’t want to.
When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, “Look, I guess you’re going to have to pay for this bill ‘cause you have my money and I can’t pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I’ll gladly treat you.”
The teen “didn’t even think about it” and returned the wallet, Diaz says. “I gave him $20 … I figure maybe it’ll help him. I don’t know.”
Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen’s knife — “and he gave it to me.”
Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, “You’re the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch.”
“I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It’s as simple as it gets in this complicated world.”
(Source: girlthrualookingglass)
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- Me: God, can I ask You a question?
- God: Sure
- Me: Promise You won't get mad ...
- God: I promise
- Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
- God: What do u mean?
- Me: Well, I woke up late
- God: Yes
- Me: My car took forever to start
- God: Okay
- Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
- God: Huummm
- Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
- God: All right
- Me: And to top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
- God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
- Me: (humbled) OH
- God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
- Me: (ashamed)
- God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
- Me (embarrassed): Okay
- God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
- Me (softly): I see God
- God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
- Me: I'm sorry God
- God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
- Me: I will trust You.
- God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
